That A Gun In Your Pocket?
by Fairady
Summary: In which Junior doesn't use every bad pick up line invented. He just uses most of them. Junior x Allen


Disclaimer: I don't own or make money off of Xenosaga. I humbly ask that you not sue me, and please don't make the next game sucky. You're two for two right now, please don't ruin your streak. 

Warning: Yaoi, drabble, bad pick up lines. Don't like? Then don't read.

Notes: Junior/Allen for 30 Kisses. It's a good thing most of my roomates work the night shift cause I would've gotten a lot of funny stares for jumping around like a crack bunny on a sugar high while writing this. This is why I love the Junior in my head, he's absolutely shameless. I don't think I'll ever be able to top this fic. Ever.

Theme: #29 'the sound of waves'

That a gun in your pocket?  
by fairady

* * *

Allen had been surprised when he found out the Foundation had a public beach.

He shouldn't have been so surprised. It really wasn't in either of the Directors' natures to selfishly make themselves a private beach without giving the public anything in return.

If Allen had known about the public beach he would've gone out a bit more. Granted Gaignun's private beach was much nicer, but it was simply too private and not many people he knew had the time to go with him. Who wanted to go to the beach by themselves anyway?

Not that Allen had to worry about being alone much these days. It was just in his best interests that he do everything humanly possible to keep from being alone with Junior.

"Come on, it's just a boat ride," Junior gestured down the boardwalk towards the dock.

"No way," Allen flatly refused ignoring the childish pout with practiced ease. "Love boats are for lovers, and I don't even like you."

"Do you like anyone else here?" Junior gestured around the beach but didn't wait for Allen to answer. "Well, then I guess you're stuck with me."

Allen stared at the red head, "Was that supposed to be some sort of pick up line? That wasn't even bad enough to laugh at."

Junior snorted. "That's not a pick up line. This is; How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?" at Allen's exasperated look the red head continued, "What, you want a cheesier pick up line? Lets see...That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor. Better yet; Your belt looks extremely tight. Let me loosen it for you."

Oh god, he'd really asked for it. Allen sighed and buried his face in his hands. "Stop it, please."

"Let's re-enact the Miltian Conflict. I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me," Junior was grinning madly as he obviously began to warm up to the topic completely forgetting about the boats. "There are a lot of fish in this sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?"

"What?" Allen looked around frantically as he slapped a hand over Junior's mouth and hissed, "Cut it out, there are kids here!"

In retrospect Allen realized that had been a very bad idea. So very, very bad.

Blue eyes glinted with laughter as the other man easily slipped away. Leaning back against the table he closed his eyes and threw his head back in mock orgasmic bliss as he cried out, "OH GOD! OH GOD! OH, OOOOOOOH GOD! Excuse me, I was just practicing for tonight. Hm, are you a screamer or a moaner?"

Allen stared in abject horror as the entire beach seemed to stop and turn. His face burned in embarrassment as a few giggles floated up from a nearby group of school girls.

Junior pushed away from the table straddling Allen's lap and loudly said, "Hi, I'm horny. Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?"

He was wrong, now everyone on the beach was staring. There were probably only a few people out in the water who remained oblivious to the torturing of Allen. The school girls were whispering behind their hands and one seemed to be looking for a camera.

"I'm easy, but it looks like you're hard," Junior shifted back and leered. "Hm, feels like it too."

If there really was any sort of kind and benevolent God, he would make the ground below Allen open up and swallow him whole. The school girls broke out into a chorus of giggles over how cute they were. Two had found their cameras. Anytime now, Allen pleaded to God.

"Little Master!" an older woman stood behind him with a scandalized expression. "You stop that this instant."

"Aw, come on!" Junior pouted as he climbed off the red faced engineer's lap. "It's fun watching him blush. Why do you have to ruin my fun?"

It wasn't quite the saving grace Allen had been asking for as it still left him with a beach full of staring people, but he thanked whatever divine being had decided to intercede on his behalf anyway.

"If you keep teasing the poor thing he'll have a heart attack," the woman smirked as she leaned down to pinch Allen's cheek. "With a boy this cute, it'd be such a shame to put him into an early grave."

"Not until I'm through with him," Junior smirked back at the woman. "And that won't be anytime soon."

"Good to hear, Little Master," the woman laughed as she walked away. "Otherwise I would have to seduce him away from you."

"Ha!" Junior shouted after her, successfully drawing the attention of the only two people on the beach who were still oblivious to everything. "You just try it! He's mine!"

Allen wondered if it really was possible for him to have heart attack from being embarrassed. Burying his head into his arms he really wished it was. Since it was obvious there was no god.

At least everyone on the beach had gone back to doing what they were doing before. Except the school girls. Allen could still hear them giggling and they were now comparing him to previous boyfriend's of the Little Master.

Junior looked at the girls thoughtfully, "I'm going to have to get myself a set of copies from them."

"You are such a pain in the ass," Allen muttered.

Junior laughed and brushed the blonde's hair away from one reddened ear. Pressing his lips to the lobe he whispered, "If I'm a pain in your ass we'll just have to add more lube."

Allen groaned.


End file.
